Do you listen in complete sentences…?
Do you listen in complete sentences?
Let’s be honest: most of us don’t listen in complete sentences.
We think we do, but the moment we hear something that confirms our beliefs, or challenges them, we usually stop listening.
We hear a part we like, or a part we hate, and then we'll cut the other person off.
And I don't mean verbally, because many times this happens mentally, internally… we'll silently interrupt people with our own thoughts and opinions and so even if we don't open our mouths we've closed our minds.
We stop receiving what the person is actually saying, and instead start responding to what we think they’re saying… or what we fear they mean.
And conflict is born in that space.
Conflict is, by its nature, a miscommunication problem. Not necessarily because someone said the wrong thing, but because someone else didn’t really hear it.
Or misheard it.
Or only heard the part that made them react.
We don’t always listen to understand—we listen through filters: how we feel in the moment, our past experiences, our fears, and our egos.
And through those filters, even a simple sentence can get twisted, misunderstood, or taken completely out of context. We don’t hear what the other person meant.
And because of that entire conversations can collapse over a fragment of information.
If this is you then perhaps it’s time to stop and ask yourself, “Is the way I do this worth the impact on my nervous system? Is there a better way?
To listen in complete sentences is to let someone finish their thought even if it's uncomfortable.
Even if we disagree.
Even if your mind is screaming to interrupt.
Because until their thought is complete, the true meaning of their message isn't clear.
And until the meaning of their message is clear, your response isn't grounded in reality… it's grounded in presumption or assumption.
So if you want to avoid unnecessary conflict you've got to learn to listen… all the way through.
You might be surprised at how much easier it is to understand someone when you let them finish explaining themselves.
You might even realise you’re not as far apart as you thought.
So often conflict isn't just about what's said.
It's about what's missed.
And more often than not, what's missed is the point.
As always, please remember that this is just a glimpse into a subject that’s much bigger than this page. We are here to help should you want to explore further… we have some great tips on how to both listen and be heard.
Men’s counselling - Scarborough Filey
Relationship counselling - Scarborough Filey
Counselling Scarborough
Counselling near me