Do You Really Hear Them?…
We don’t hear the words they say.
We hear what they mean to us.
Their words pass through our filters,
Our past,
Our hurts,
Our hopes,
Our fears.
And often, by the time their words reach us,
We’re not listening to them anymore.
We’re listening to ourselves.
That’s not listening.
That’s rewriting.
That’s turning their story into ours.
But real listening asks something harder from us.
It asks you to stop filling in the blanks.
It asks you to resist shaping their words into your version of the truth.
It asks you to quiet the running commentary in your own mind.
The quieter you become,
The more you are able to hear.
Quiet doesn’t mean silence in the room.
It means slowing down the urge to react.
It means noticing when you’re preparing your answer,
Instead of paying attention.
It means loosening your grip on the need to be right,
To defend,
To explain.
Because listening is not waiting for your turn to talk.
It’s giving someone the space to finish being where they are,
Before you step in with who you are.
And when you do that,
When you actually hear them,
On their terms,
Through their meaning,
Something changes.
Understanding grows.
Empathy takes root.
Connection deepens.
Listening in this way doesn’t just make them feel heard.
It changes you too.
It stretches your world beyond the limits of your own mind,
Into theirs.
So the next time someone speaks,
Notice the pull to jump in.
Notice how fast you reach for your own meaning.
And then slow down.
Stay with their words long enough
To hear what they mean for them
And not what they mean for you
Because listening isn’t only about words.
It’s about listening to the person behind the words.
The feelings they carry.
The story in their body.
The life that shaped the voice you’re hearing.
When you listen like that,
You give them more than attention.
You give them a place where they don’t need to hide anything.
Where they can bring all that they are,
Safely.
And in that place, when it’s cared for, heard…
Thats where healing begins